All Access (Chasing Cross Book One) (A Brothers of Rock Novel) Read online

Welcome to the world of Brothers of Rock!

  A series built on love, life, and rock n’ roll romance!

  Brothers of Rock Books 1 – 5 follow rock band Chasing Cross

  You can visit Chasing Cross on their blog at www.ChasingCross.wordpress.com

  Read about the band! Check out the album covers!

  Don’t miss a single book in the Brothers of Rock series!

  All Access (Chasing Cross – Book One) – Johnnie, lead singer

  Broken Sound (Chasing Cross – Book Two) – Davey, guitarist

  Bitter Farewell (Chasing Cross – Book Three) – Danny, guitarist

  Buried Notes (Chasing Cross – Book Four) – Chris, bassist

  Last Song (Chasing Cross – Book Five) – Rick, drummer

  Recently announced for 2014!

  The Brothers of Rock series will continue with the band Fallen Tuesday!

  Be sure to look for the books... or better yet, sign up for the official Karolyn James newsletter and you’ll never miss a new release!

  Sign up here - tinyurl.com/KJSignup

  ~**~

  Also announced!

  A brand new romance series set in the small North Carolina town of Kis Bay. Stories of love, redemption, heartache, and hope!

  Coming fall 2013!

  ~**~

  Stay social with Karolyn James here...

  www.KarolynJames.wordpress.com

  On Twitter @KarolynWrites

  https://www.facebook.com/KarolynJamesAuthor

  NOW... are you ready?

  This... is...

  BROTHERS OF ROCK!

  With ALL ACCESS, a contemporary romance series begins that explores, life, love, and music. Join the five band members of Chasing Cross as they find that there's more to life beyond the stage.

  BOOK DESCRIPTION:

  Jess is caught off guard when a sexy stranger buys her a cup of coffee and asks her to sit with him. He's mysterious, nice, and even though he says the right things at the right time, Jess can sense that there's something hidden about him.

  *

  As Johnnie sits across from the beautiful woman, he can't believe she doesn't recognize him. Everyone does. It comes with the territory when you're the lead singer of one of the hottest bands in the world, Chasing Cross. With one more show to go before taking a small break in touring, it feels like luck is on Johnnie's side. That is, if he can find a way to tell Jess who he is, without scaring her off.

  *

  After her best friend begs her to come to a concert, Jess finds herself standing in the middle of a crowd. The lights are off, music begins, and the crowd erupts in cheers. She doesn't know much about the band, but that's all about to change. When the lights come on, Jess can't believe her eyes. The lead singer of the band is the man from the café.

  *

  Plucked from the crowd during the show, Jess makes her way backstage. The encore may have ended on stage, but the real show is just about to begin. Johnnie's passion quickly turns to romance but the more time he and Jess spend together, the more things get complicated. Johnnie has a big decision to make about himself and the band, testing his loyalty and love for the music, and when Jess's dreams start to come true, she starts to realize that true love exists, but it's not always an easy path to take.

  (1)

  Beth wasn’t sure if love actually existed, but she wrote romance novels for a living and spent her days exploring the emotions of relationships. She had to smile and live in a world that believed in it all.

  Jess Carcraft stared at her laptop screen, tapping her fingers along the keyboard, considering the opening to her new romantic thriller. The publisher set a rigid deadline on the book and Jess planned on delivering it earlier, wanting to make good with both agent and publisher. After a fluke run on her first novel, she managed to deliver a second book a few months later which the publisher now prepared to launch with a big push. Her literary chance now became a literary career.

  In the second bedroom of an apartment that she could easily move out of, thanks to an advance on the second book, Jess sat in the same cracked leather chair at the same old black desk her mother bought her when she moved out at age eighteen. She huddled over the keyboard with a bathrobe on, a half empty cup of coffee already too cool to enjoy, and the images of murder and love racing through her mind. The images wouldn’t come together for Jess though and she found herself ready to hit a writing wall. The opening line couldn’t be the only work she’d get done this morning - or today - so she quickly changed gears.

  She dumped her coffee, changed into casual clothes, ran a brush through her hair, and brushed her teeth. As she looked in the mirror, she judged herself acceptable to go outside and face the world. Hopefully just a small version of the world.

  For all the success her name had, she was rarely recognized, mostly because the picture used on her website and for her books was the same picture of Jess standing with one leg up, wearing a long black coat, her lips blood red, her hair styled like she never had it before. They wanted to capture Jess as some kind of woman detective from a television show but the only expertise in detection that Jess had was when she lost her keys. And even then, it was a fifty-fifty chance of finding the keys in a matter of minutes.

  She grabbed her laptop, slid it into her laptop bag, and left the apartment.

  Sometimes going to a local café was all she needed to spark an idea. Between the regulars and people she never saw before, it operated like its own world.

  Plus, Jess’s debut novel started in a café, where the heroine met the hero over a cup of coffee and some casual conversation.

  (2)

  Johnnie stood on the balcony of the hotel, feeling the warmth of the sun as it climbed along his skin. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting his body wake up. The night before had gotten a little out of hand, thanks to Danny insisting on celebrating with a bottle of whiskey.

  One more show...

  Johnnie could finally tell himself that.

  One more show...

  As the front man of chart topping rock group, Chasing Cross, the years on the road had taken their toll on everyone in its own special way. Millions of albums sold, tours that crossed the globe, awards, and most important of all, the loyal fans, were what kept the band going. While some bands saw themselves implode in the limelight of success, the guys of Chasing Cross only seemed to grow closer.

  Johnnie told himself part of it was because of his younger brother, Danny. It was something extra special to have his actual brother there with him on stage every night. Each time Johnnie looked over at Danny, it took him back to their childhood as they both played guitar (horribly at that time) to their favorite songs. Separated by only a year, they were more like twins than big and little brother. Johnnie did stand an inch higher than Danny and Danny did have a more boyish look, but there was no denying the two men were brothers.

  This leg of the tour was coming to an end tonight, followed by a month long break before picking back up in Spain and traveling Europe for another two months. The idea of world tour had been such a dream and now Chasing Cross did it every year or two.

  Johnnie leaned against the railing and looked down at the street below. He looked for inspiration, considering more about life than he ever had before. Ten years ago, when Chasing Cross started, Johnnie was in high school. They got some friends together to jam and after a couple years of changing band members, a group finally stuck. Back then, they could write about the potential of life. Big hits about parties, women, love, and learning to live. The record label just rel
eased their newest album - EightNine - less than six months ago and they were already hounding for more music. Sometimes Johnnie felt that music had become somewhat disposable, but the second he stepped on stage and saw the thousands of fans waiting, cheering, and singing every song back to him, those thoughts disappeared.

  A song played in Johnnie’s head and it made him close his eyes and shake it away. It wasn’t a song for the band. It was a song for... something else. Something else that Johnnie didn’t want to think about, not right now at least. He looked over his shoulder at the partially opened door to his room, half expecting one of the guys to be standing there. Over the years, they had formed strong enough of a bond to know when something was going on with one another. Just like Johnnie made a mental note of how much Rick drank last night. It was after the show so it obviously did not affect his drumming skills, but by the end of the night, he couldn’t talk. That wasn’t social drinking, that was drinking to hide something.

  Something they’d have to address on their break.

  The road took its toll on everyone and that’s why the last time they negotiated a tour like this, Johnnie made it clear that they needed breaks.

  Johnnie heard his cell phone ringing so he patted the railing of the hotel balcony and walked inside to get the phone.

  “Hey Peter,” Johnnie said as he sat on the couch. He stretched his neck, trying to get comfortable so it didn’t feel like someone rolled a boulder onto his head.

  “Great show last night,” Peter said.

  Peter O’Neil had been the manager for Chasing Cross since their first demo was picked up by S-Hallow Records eight years ago. He had been like a father figure to the guys in the early days and now he was all business, all the time. He understood the changing music scene and could negotiate like a vicious animal, sometimes walking out on meetings that should have resulted in the band losing their deal. But it never happened. Peter always got his way.

  “It was a good time,” Johnnie said.

  “You sound like hell. You get coffee yet? We have to talk.”

  “No coffee,” Johnnie said. “Room had none in it.”

  “I’ll call and complain.”

  “Don’t bother. I think Davey broke the television in his room. We’ll call it even.”

  “Christ. You guys have to stop giving him whiskey. He’s not twenty-two anymore.”

  “Yeah, neither am I.”

  “Feeling old buddy?”

  “If I’m feeling old, then you must feel dead.”

  Peter laughed and then Johnnie heard the sounds of papers shuffling. “Listen, Johnnie, I need an answer soon. We have to decide on the charity show and then that contract I talked about...”

  “Let’s meet for coffee,” Johnnie said.

  “Ten minutes. There’s a place called Seven C’s about a mile from you. Sort of hidden. You be the same way. And bring security.”

  Peter hung up and Johnnie rubbed his face.

  Ten years ago nobody knew him. He could break a window and go to jail. Now, if he broke a window, he was cheered. Hell, he could break a window and the owner of the place would want a picture with him to tell people how Johnnie from Chasing Cross broke a window.

  Funny what music and fame could do.

  No matter what Johnnie needed to mask himself up a little. It didn’t take much to gather a horde of Chasing Cross fans. They could appear from nowhere and swarm. In some cities, fans were calm and collected. They treated Johnnie like a normal guy. In other cities, it was like a riot.

  Bring security.

  The band had security detail and a driver. Something about it rubbed Johnnie the wrong way although he understood its purpose. For protection. He grabbed his phone and made a call, ensuring the vehicle would be a standard size vehicle.

  No need to pull up to a small café in a stretch limo.

  After all, he wasn’t going out to impress anyone.

  (3)

  “You have to come to this show with me.”

  Jess hated to be that person in line with a cell phone stuck to her ear, but her friend, Marie, wouldn’t stop talking. She regretted taking the phone call the second she did, but it was uncommon for Marie to call this early. All Jess could think of was Marie’s grandmother, who had a stroke last week and wasn’t in good condition at all.

  “Marie, stop talking for a second,” Jess finally said, cutting in.

  “What?”

  “I’m in line to get coffee. I’ll call you back.”

  “No. Tell me you’ll go to the show tonight. Please.”

  “Marie...”

  “Jessica, don’t do this to me.”

  “I’ll call you back.”

  Jess was one person away from being next in line. She felt bad enough already for talking on her phone, there was no way she’d order a coffee while holding the phone.

  “Why did you get two tickets?”

  “It was supposed to be for someone else,” Marie said. “But Ted thinks we’re moving too fast.”

  Oh, damn.

  “I’m sorry,” Jess said.

  “I’m not. I don’t know how I feel about him. I’m not surprised through. But with this and then my grandmother... I need a night out... Jess...”

  “I’ll call you in a few,” Jess said.

  “I’m taking that as a yes.”

  Marie hung up and Jess shook her head.

  Jess didn’t want to go to a show tonight. She didn’t even ask Marie who the band was. Jess enjoyed music like anyone else did, but Marie loved such a wide range from heavy music where the lyrics were screamed all the way to classical instrumental music. With lots in between.

  At the counter, Jess slipped her phone into her bag and placed her order.

  Before the barista behind the counter could give her the total, a hand appeared at the counter with money.

  “Add the same to that order,” a voice said.

  Jess looked over her shoulder and saw what could possibly be the sexiest man she had ever seen in her life. He was tall with a defined chin, piercing eyes, and the scruff of a face in badly need of a shave. His lips were thin but curvy and as the right side started to move into a little smile, Jess felt her mouth start to open.

  “On me,” the man whispered. “Just do me a favor and bring the coffee to the table in the corner.”

  Jess looked back to the money. The stranger tapped the bill on the counter and then slithered away.

  “Is that all?” the barista asked.

  Jess eyed the man as he walked away, keeping his head down.

  “I guess so,” she whispered.

  Jess carried the two cups of coffee to the back table. There the stranger sat with his back to Jess, a hand near his face. He looked like he was trying to disguise himself. It worried Jess as she grew closer.

  Was something wrong with him?

  Was he some kind of crazy man?

  Her mind thought of things she’d seen in the news, not to mention the author in her that never stopped working.

  Couldn’t this be a book plot?

  Strange guy in a café, eyeing people?

  When he turned and Jess saw the outline of his face, she almost dropped the coffee. He was gorgeous. From the side, with the light of the sun glistening on his face, he had the look of a statue.

  But he could move.

  And talk.

  And he did.

  “Ah, thank you so much,” he said, reaching for one of the coffees.

  “It’s just black,” Jess said. “Wasn’t sure how you liked it.”

  “After last night, black will do the trick.”

  He smiled, showing a set of dimples that formed more dimples. His chin pulled when he smiled, and the power of his eyes starting to burn into Jess’s memory.

  She swore to herself that she was memorizing the man’s sexy features for her own work. She could use a guy like this in one of her novels. But after a few seconds of gawking, s
he realized she teetered on the line of being creepy herself.

  “Got change for me?” the man asked.

  “Oh, change. No. I gave it to... the...”

  “I’m only kidding,” the man said, smiling. “Here. Sit down for a minute.”

  “No. I don’t want to bother you.”

  “Sure you do. Sit down.”

  His eyes were dark and deep. A sense of honesty came through them. Jess couldn’t believe how suddenly comfortable she felt, considering this was a total stranger. But even still, she took a step to the small round table and sat down.

  Her hands were folded around her coffee. Her laptop bag still on her shoulder.

  “You could put your bag down,” the man said. “I won’t bite. I promise.”

  “Do you often bite people?” Jess asked.

  “Only when tempted.”

  He was fast. He was smooth.

  Jess’s mouth ran dry.

  Without breaking her stare from the man’s eyes, she lowered her laptop bag to the floor.

  “Working today?” the man asked, pointing to the bag.

  “Something like that,” Jess said. “I’m a writer.”

  “A writer? What do you write?”

  Why was this guy asking questions?

  Jess tried to lift her coffee cup but found her hands were shaking. Shaking from what? Fear? Anticipation? Because the man sitting across from her had a dreamy face?

  “I write books,” Jess said.

  “Write books or are they published?”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Okay. I play guitar...”

  Jess felt her heart jump. Of course a man this sexy would play guitar.

  “... so that makes me a musician, right?”

  Jess nodded.

  “But am I recording musician? Do I get to play big shows? Make lots of money?”

  Jess shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. You tell me.”

  The man laughed for a few seconds.

  “Are you published?” he asked.

  “Yes,” Jess said. “I have a publisher. I’m not famous but I’ve had to sign a couple autographs.”

  “Sign a couple autographs,” the man smiled wide. He sipped his coffee.

  “You play shows?” Jess asked.

  “I guess you could say that.”

  “Are you in a band?”

  “Yeah. I’m in a band. I’m the singer. Go figure.”

  Jess couldn’t believe how turned on she felt. She fought the images coming to her, but she pictured the man standing on a stage, playing guitar, singing. Sweating. Staring at Jess in a crowd. Controlling her with his eyes.

  She had to look away for a second.

  “So, let me ask you something,” the man said.

  “Sure.”

  “You have no idea who I am?”

  “Why? Am I supposed to?”

  “Nope,” the man said. “By the way, my name is Johnnie.”

  “I’m Jess.”

  “Jess,” Johnnie whispered.

  Jess watched as Johnnie stared at her. Like he was studying her, trying to find out if she was hiding something. She didn’t mind him staring at her, not at all. It was very hot...

  “Thanks for helping me with the coffee,” Johnnie said.

  “Thanks for buying me a coffee.”

  “Heard you on the phone with your... boyfriend?”

  Jess smiled. If Johnnie had been listening, he knew it wasn’t a boyfriend. What a cheap way to find out if she had a boyfriend. But Jess respected it.

  “Nope, not my boyfriend. My friend, Marie.”

  “Everything okay?”

  Jess finally took a drink of her coffee.

  Just who in the hell was this guy? How did he have so much confidence?

  “With my friend? I guess so.”

  “Doesn’t sound good.”

  “Her grandmother had a stroke last week.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Me too. And the guy she has been seeing ditched her after she bought tickets to a concert tonight.”

  “Concert, huh?” Johnnie smiled big. “Who’s playing?”

  “I don’t know,” Jess said. “But she wants me to go.”

  “Why not go?”

  Jess pointed to her bag on the floor. “Have work to do. Just because I’m a writer doesn’t mean I make my own schedule. I have a book due sooner than later.”

  “And I’m wasting all your precious time right now, aren’t I?”

  “You said it, not me.”

  Jess sipped her coffee, feeling more alive in the past two minutes than she had in the past two days. She couldn’t believe she was flirting with a stranger like this. A handsome stranger, for the record, but still, a stranger. Of course, Jess chalked it all up to research. The flirty banter between hot guy and pretty girl, something she could remember for her next book.

  “You don’t have to sit here anymore,” Johnnie said.

  “Am I bothering you?”

  “Not quite yet. Give it another minute... nope, wait... yeah, now you’re bothering me.”

  “What does that...”

  Johnnie pointed.

  Jess turned and saw a short, round man hustling towards the café. His red tie shot up and over his shoulder. Mostly bald with a big face, the man stared down at a cell phone, his fingers tapping at the screen.

  “That’s my manager,” Johnnie said. “Band meeting stuff.”

  “Well, then I guess I’ll be going,” Jess said.

  She reached for her bag, slowly, not really wanting to end the conversation with Johnnie. She stood and hesitated for a few seconds.

  “If I can offer some advice,” Johnnie said. “Not that I want to barge into your life...”

  “Advice? Sure.”

  “I’d go to the concert tonight.”

  “I don’t know who the band is. And my friend can get into some crazy music.”

  “Or maybe it’ll be the greatest band you’ve ever seen,” Johnnie said with that smile on his face.

  “Maybe.”

  “Sometimes it’s fun to take a chance, isn’t it?”

  “Johnnie, are you...”

  The other voice was the robust man, standing a few feet away, pointing his cell phone at Jess.

  “No, it’s fine,” Johnnie said. “Jess was actually leaving to go write the next bestseller.”

  “Bestseller? Not sure about that...”

  “Autograph me a copy when it’s done,” Johnnie said.

  “And how will I find you?” Jess teased.

  “Good point. Enjoy your concert tonight.”

  “Maybe,” Jess said.

  She had the urge to touch Johnnie. Not sexually, but, yeah, maybe sexually... She pictured herself hugging him, asking more about him. He was mysterious but in such a sexy way. After nodding to the man Johnnie said was his manager, she made her way across the café and looked around. Most of the tables were filled now and Jess didn’t want to try to type elbow to elbow with other people.

  She sighed and decided to go back home.

  The morning wasn’t a complete failure though. It wasn’t every day she got to meet such a hot guy.

  (4)

  “You’re lucky she didn’t announce you to the rest of this place,” Peter said, reaching into a briefcase.

  “She had no idea who I was,” Johnnie said.

  “Wow. There’s something new. Why don’t you put sunglasses on or something? People are going to notice soon.”

  “I’m not doing that. The bigger the disguise, the more attention I’ll get. Let it be, Peter.”

  “Okay, great.” He spread papers across the table and started to talk.

  Johnnie wasn’t listening. He looked around the café, trying to find Jess. When that failed him, he searched the outside. There weren’t a lot of people walking about and of the few that were there, Jess wasn’t one of them.


  He instantly started to feel regret.

  Time had given him women but had taken away his want to pick up a woman. A relationship to him started at a concert, on a tour bus, or backstage. There were a few times when an actress or model would have their agent call Peter, but none of it was as raw as what just happened with Jess. When he saw her standing in line, something happened. Her curly hair that looked really good messy, her bright blue eyes, her figure. Everything about her screamed casual until he got close enough to smell her. Not that Johnnie was some creep smelling women, there was just something about Jess that enticed him.

  And yet he did nothing.

  He did not say who he really was. That was out of fear of Jess becoming either starstruck or simply not believing him.

  He could have given her his number, or better yet, asked for hers.

  The longest relationship he had was five years ago. Anna wasn’t the perfect woman, at least at the end of the relationship, and it bothered him that her claw marks still remained a little in his heart.

  “Johnnie, are you listening to me?”

  Johnnie blinked and looked at Peter. A line of sweat glazed across his forehead and his eyes were bug like.

  “No, I’m not.”

  “We have to settle on this,” Peter said. “I really think the charity show is going to build you up once you make your decision on the new song...”

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” Johnnie snapped.

  “About what? The show? The song? Your career?”

  “Look. Tonight’s the last show of this leg. Okay? Can’t we just take a break, clear our minds?”

  “No. There’s money behind this. I’ve had a couple bites from networks too.”

  “Networks?”

  “Television. They’re interested in seeing Johnnie, the man behind the band. You on your own, singing on your own, just being Johnnie.”

  “No. No way. I’m Johnnie from Chasing Cross.”

  “We both know this break in the touring is getting old. People are filling seats and we can fill more if we had more shows.”

  “Are you unhappy with your compensation, Peter?” Johnnie offered a wicked smile as he sipped his coffee.

  Peter ran a napkin over his bald head and swallowed hard. “Don’t be a prick to me, okay Johnnie? We both know the writing is on the wall. The label is changing. They want you, Johnnie, and just you. If you go into the studio again with the band, they’re going to mix them out of it.”

  “Then I won’t record.”

  “Then you’ll lose your contract.”

  “Then I’ll lose my contract,” Johnnie said.

  “Just like that,” Peter said. “It’s that easy for you?”

  “No. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for you to understand why it’s not easy for me.”

  Peter opened his mouth and then shook his head. He growled and slapped the papers in front of him.

  “This is your future. A chance beyond the band. You’re telling me that everyone is committed all the way?”

  “Are you turning your back on us? After all these years?”

  “Never,” Peter said. “I’m looking out for the best interest of everyone. I don’t want the band to burn out on tour. And I don’t want you to be held back. You’re telling me that I’m supposed to forget about the acoustic demo you played for me at your cabin?”

  Johnnie looked away. He knew he was going to regret playing those songs for Peter.

  “That’s how I write,” Johnnie said. “I record acoustic and then take it to the band.”

  “But this song...”

  “It’s not done,” Johnnie said. “Leave it at that. When it’s done, we’ll talk.”

  “Johnnie, Danny broke a television. A call came in because Rick was puking so much.”

  “We all drank,” Johnnie said.

  “I know. It’s the life, right?” Peter put his hands up. “Fine. I’ll drop it. Let’s talk about the charity show.”

  Peter started to ramble again and Johnnie faded out. Of course Peter was right. The other guys lived their own private ways. The brotherhood ran deep but not without demons. Hell, Johnnie wasn’t perfect either. The only difference was that he was the front man of the band. For whatever reason that made him different. He was supposed to be the leader. The wise one. The one who listened and took care of everything.

  But even then, sitting in the café with Peter, thinking about the contract for a solo project, thinking about Rick’s drinking, thinking about the show tonight and how he wanted to change the set list, one thing kept popping into his mind.

  Jess.

  Why didn’t he ask for her number? Why didn’t he tell her he was playing the concert she was probably going to tonight?

  Johnnie sighed, leaving it all in the hands of fate, something he wasn’t used to and something he didn’t like very much.

  (5)

  Marie showed up an hour early and when Jess opened the door, Marie stood there, swaying her hips and hair as though a song was playing. Jess was sure a song played in Marie’s head and she hurried to usher her into the apartment before any of the neighbors saw.

  “Excited?” Jess asked.

  “You have no freaking idea,” Marie said. “I’ve been dying to see these guys for two years. They tour so weird.”

  “How so?”

  “They’ll have a huge tour but do it in chunks. Tour for a month, then take a month off. And you just have to wait and wait and wait... oh, and tonight is their last show before a break.”

  “Is that good?”

  “I hope so. Maybe they’ll do something special.”

  “How much do I owe you for the ticket?”

  “Nothing. My treat.”

  “Marie...”

  “You’re helping me out,” Marie said. She took Jess by the wrist and forced her to stop. “Seriously. I need tonight.”

  “Well... what happened with Ted?”

  “He’s a guy. Whatever.”

  “You didn’t tell him you loved him, did you?”

  “No.” Marie rolled her eyes. “I don’t think so.”

  “I’m serious,” Jess said. “You freak guys out when you do that.”

  “I don’t mean it like love love, you know?”

  “I know what you mean. But when a guy hears I love you on the third date...”

  “Blah, blah,” Marie said. “I don’t know if I like Ted. He’s not very good in bed. I asked him about it and he said he was nervous.”

  “You told him he wasn’t good in bed?”

  “No... I asked him, ‘Is that how it always is?’ and he told me he was nervous.”

  “Marie, I do love you,” Jess said. “You’re freaking wild sometimes.”

  “No. I’m honest. I don’t settle. And I’m really excited for tonight.”

  “I’m excited too,” Jess said. “But I have to ask... is this a normal band?”

  “Define normal?”

  “The last band we saw, the lead singer threw paint balloons into the crowd...”

  “Oh, yeah. No, these guys are normal. You’ve heard of them before. I know it. They’ve been around for a while too. It’s Chasing Cross.”

  “Chasing Cross...” Jess knew the name.

  Marie handed Jess her ticket and Jess rubbed her finger on it. She felt a little weird taking the ticket.

  Chasing Cross.

  “Chasing Cross,” Jess repeated.

  “Here, check it out,” Marie said.

  She handed Jess her cell phone as it started to play a song.

  “This is their most popular song,” Marie said. “It’s called “Chasing”, as ironic as that is.”

  “Oh, I know this song,” Jess said.

  It was a good song. Catchy, lots of guitar, a good drumbeat, actually something Jess could get into and wouldn’t mind seeing live. When the intro ended and the singing began, Jess felt her heart
starting to race.

  “Yeah, I really like this,” Jess said.

  “Good. Now get ready, I want to leave soon. Maybe we can meet the band.”

  “Meet the band?”

  “Sure. If we get there early enough. Maybe we can see their tour bus or something. That would be so cool.”

  Jess watched as her friend slowly turned into a teenager girl, wide eyed, excited, full of hope.

  “Okay, let me get ready then.”

  “Hurry.”

  Jess turned and then stopped. She reached behind and snagged Marie’s phone out of her hand.

  “What are you doing? I’m not going to text Ted...”

  “I don’t care about Ted,” Jess said. “I want to hear more of Chasing Cross.”

  “Good girl.”

  Jess strutted away as the next song started. A slow, ballad type but what made Jess freeze as she stepped into her bedroom was the voice. That same voice again. That singer. The depth of his voice, the raw sound of it... it sounded just like...

  (6)

  “Johnnie! You ready, bro?”

  Johnnie took a breath and turned to see his brother, Danny, standing behind him. Danny already had his guitar slung around his neck, ready to go. That was Danny’s pre-show routine. He’d wear his guitar for an hour, strum random chords and notes, play riffs, play Chasing Cross songs, play other songs. Whatever came to him.

  Five minutes before show time, he would hand the guitar off to the tech who could then hurry and tune it back to perfection and have it waiting for Danny on stage.

  “Let’s go,” Johnnie said.

  “Wild crowd out there tonight,” Rick said. He twirled his drumsticks and then started playing on the leather couch backstage.

  “Fuck, I love this feeling,” Chris said. “It’s like a drug high.”

  Chris’s eyes went wild for a second.

  Johnnie tensed and eyed the bassist. A long time ago, back in the days of their youth, Chris had himself a drug problem. He hid it for a long time until he almost died on stage one night in Seattle. It brought Chasing Chase into headline news, being called a useless drug band. Half their tour was cancelled as Chris went through rehab and when he came out, the first thing the band did was go into the studio and write what would be their bestselling album yet.

  Johnnie did indulge with Chris a few times, but never let it become a habit and never thought Chris would let it become a habit either.

  “Let it be your only high,” Davey said as he ran his fingers through his black hair. Davey was the biggest guy in the band, often confused for one of the security guys instead of a band member.

  “Come on,” Chris said and shook his head.

  “We’re all good,” Johnnie finally said. “A little capper before the show and nothing else, right?”

  Johnnie purposely looked at all the band members but focused on Rick. He didn’t have a shit eating grin on his face so Johnnie took it at face value.

  Peter appeared in the doorway, his eyes down at his phone. The man sweated all the time. From the moment he met with the band until now, all he did was sweat.

  “Guys, they’re starting the intro in ten seconds.”

  Peter left and the entire room changed.

  The anticipation kicked in instantly. The high that Chris talked about hit everyone. Johnnie looked at his band mates, everyone in silence. The intro music kicked in, the heavy thuds of drums, the crawling feedback of guitars, the muffled voice of Johnnie. The pre-recorded track got everyone into the show.

  Johnnie closed his eyes and prepared.

  He was ready.

  The last show for a month, with the exception of the charity show. But that would be laid back and relaxed. More of a jam session than anything else.

  Johnnie focused and prepared. He opened his eyes and tilted his head down. He curled his lip into the devilish grin that made any woman ache for him and any man wish they were as cool as fucking Johnnie from Chasing Cross.

  “Let’s go,” he said.

  He led the way out of the room, hearing the sound of the band preparing too. Davey and Chris always slapped fives. Danny and Rick went arm in arm, talking about one of their earliest shows.

  Johnnie took the hall and saw the entrance to the stage.

  This was it.

  The intro continued and the crowd roared. From the small opening to the stage, he could see the lights moving and flashing and changing colors.

  This was what it was all about.

  Music.

  Life.

  Soul.

  Rock n’ roll.

  Johnnie touched his chest. His heart raced like nothing he ever experienced before. The closest it had come to this in years was at the café earlier that morning.

  With that woman...

  With...

  (8)

  “JESS! Can you feel it?!”

  Jess stood next to Marie and yes, she could feel it.

  The radio had been playing for the past ten minutes while the stage was prepared for Chasing Cross.

  Then everything changed.

  The lights went out and the room exploded. Jess reached for Marie and found her hand. She held it tight and Marie started to shake. She was already screaming, her voice piercing Jess’s ears, making her squeeze her eyes shut.

  A single white light came on, over the microphone.

  It was empty, for now.

  A track started to play.

  The drums came through the speakers like synchronized thunder. Then came the bass, the low rumbling of perfection only to be offset by the sound of guitars.

  And finally... the voice.

  The voice.

  In the mostly dark crowd, hearing the voice through all the speakers like this, it drove Jess mad. She couldn’t believe how her body reacted at that moment. Her heart pounded. Her body tingled. Her most sensitive areas suddenly felt good.

  The music continued and the room built by the second. The suspense should have been annoying, but the longer this went, the more Jess liked it. It was... rock n’ roll foreplay. The buildup to something so huge, so perfect. It felt as though it were dripping with a sexual desire.

  “THERE THEY ARE!” Marie cried out as she jumped.

  Silhouettes came to the stage, each one taking their spot. Lights moved across the stage, too dim to show any real features of the band members. Jess could see two guitarists, a bassist, a drummer, and...

  “THERE HE IS!” Marie screamed. “HE’S SO HOT!”

  “WHAT’S HIS NAME?” Jess cried back.

  The lead singer walked to the microphone and he put his hands out. The track came to its heavy climax and then it all started. In the momentary second of silence and darkness, Jess heard Marie scream the lead singer’s name...

  Johnnie.

  The lights came to the stage as the first song started.

  Now it was Jess’s turn to squeeze Marie’s hand. More than that, she leaned into her friend as her legs started to grow weak.

  It was... him.

  The guy from the café.

  Johnnie.

  The gorgeous lead singer of Chasing Cross.

  It took all of the first two songs for Jess to gather herself. When the second song ended, the band paused, allowing the crowd to properly greet them. Johnnie then took to the mic. He put his mouth to it as though he was going to speak but then pulled back and just smiled.

  Even at the distance, his smile did something to Jess.

  She could see his dimples and now add to that the band, the music, and aura of the room, he was deadly sexy. Perhaps the sexiest man she’d ever seen in her life.

  But that didn’t mean he’d remember her, right?

  Hell, he’d have to find her in the crowd first.

  “How’s everyone feeling tonight?” Johnnie asked.

  The crowd erupted and Marie jumped, screaming Johnnie’s name. Even when the crowd calmed a little, Marie d
idn’t.

  Johnnie then looked right in their direction.

  “Someone’s happy to see me,” he said. “Someone...”

  Johnnie met eyes with Jess.

  She knew it.

  She could feel the connection, just like in the café earlier.

  “Someone is certainly here,” Johnnie said. “And so are all of you!”

  The crowd cheered again and Johnnie turned his head, waiting for the count.

  Drumsticks came together four times and the next song started. Johnnie stared at Jess for a few seconds, smiling the entire time, and then he lost himself in the song. It was one of the songs Jess knew, one of their hits on the radio. She knew the music and some of the chorus. Of course, Marie knew every single word. She cheered and sang, so loud that it almost took away from Johnnie’s amazing voice.

  Song after song, Johnnie sang, getting more into each song, leading the crowd through a musical journey and experience. Jess felt it, and she felt something beyond that. Watching the way Johnnie moved and how he kept looking towards Jess left her feeling insatiable. She felt wanted by him. Whether it was just an act or not, she didn’t know, but she sure as hell enjoyed it while it happened.

  During the latest guitar solo, Johnnie put his mic to the guitar, amplifying his skills. When the song came to an end he let out a long sound, then looked around to his band.

  “These guys are fucking wild!” he yelled.

  The guitarist played a riff and the drummer followed with a few kicks of his kick drum and crashes from his cymbals.

  “But it’s not always about being wild,” Johnnie said. “No, no. There’s more to it all. There’s soul beneath it all. I’m talking... rock n’ roll soul.”

  The crowd applauded and Johnnie nodded. He licked his lips and smiled. He stepped away from the mic for a few seconds, searching for something. The rest of the band looked around, confused, and then watched as the front man came back to the mic holding an acoustic guitar.

  “This isn’t on the set list tonight,” Johnnie said. “But sometimes, there are things in life that just happen. Without warning. Without purpose. And those moments... they can change us forever... And those moments... they’re the ones I’m...”

  Johnnie strummed the guitar, playing the intro to the next song. The crowd cheers and Jess looked at Marie.

  She knew this song.

  “... Chasing...”

  The song was slow and soothing, and the entire time Johnnie played and sang the stripped down acoustic only version of the song, he stared at Jess.

  Marie leaned into Jess and said, “I think he’s looking at us!” in her girly voice. Jess glanced at Marie and saw her friend staring at Johnnie with that glazed look of young lust. She hoped Marie didn’t Johnnie was looking at her.

  Then again, what did Jess know?

  Was Johnnie actually looking at her?

  What amazed Jess more than watching Johnnie sing was how the band reacted to the sudden change in the set list. The bassist came in gently, following Johnnie’s lead. The two guitarists switched to clean channels, taking away the crunch sound of the guitars. And the drummer played softly, a basic kick-snare beat that worked perfectly together.

  It was a different version of “Chasing”, one that Jess wished she could have to hear all the time. Then a thought and image came to her... if Johnnie was singing to her, what did it really mean? She pictured herself with Johnnie as he sat with an acoustic guitar playing “Chasing”, playing it for her, to her, singing, the moment becoming too intense...

  Marie screamed and Jess jumped.

  The song had come to its close, leaving the stage in pitch black. A few seconds later, lights came down to the two guitarists. They were at opposite ends of the stage and they played in unison, leading into the next set of songs.

  The show could have lasted for hours and when Johnnie announced it was the last song, Jess had a sudden feeling of being let down. She didn’t want it to end. She almost felt like she was on a date with Johnnie... a date with another few thousand people surrounding her. Nothing strange about that.

  As the song played, Jess’s body moved. The music had gotten into her, in a way music had never done before. She’d been to plenty of concerts, not as many as Marie, but this was by far the greatest concert of her life.

  Just when she thought it couldn’t get any better, a hand touched her shoulder, bringing the night to a sudden end. When she looked to her right and saw a tall, thick man in a black t-shirt, looking angry, she lowered her shoulder and thrashed. She reached for Marie but the man was too strong.

  “Hey, cool it,” he bellowed at Jess.

  “What the fu...”

  “Leave her alone!” Marie cried out.

  The man bent towards Jess. “I’m with Johnnie. I’m security. Damn, will you calm down?”

  “What’s wrong?” Jess asked. “I didn’t do anything...”

  “I know that. Johnnie told me to bring you backstage.”

  Jess’s eyes went wide and she looked at Marie. Marie’s jaw could be swept off the floor.

  “My friend, Marie...”

  “She can come too,” the security guard said. “But she can’t go into his room. His rules, not mine.”

  Marie pushed at Jess as Jess stared at Marie.

  “Come on, we have to get going. Right now.”

  The security guard led the way to the black gate and they walked along it, the large man acting as a battering ram, pushing his way through the crowd. Jess stayed an inch away from the man, catching the scent of his body odor. Behind her, Marie held Jess’s wrist.

  Jess stared at the stage, watching Johnnie and Chasing Cross perform. She felt disconnected from the world in those passing moments, following the security guard as he walked beyond the gate, taking Jess and Marie with him.

  They walked along the stage and towards a back room door. Once in there, there was a hallway leading to all the different dressing rooms and storage closets.

  The security guard moved with thunderous footsteps.

  Marie hurried and walked next to Jess.

  “I’ve never done this before,” Marie whispered.

  “What? Backstage?” Jess asked.

  “Yes. I’ve snuck out back at shows and waited for bands, but this... you’re going to meet Johnnie from Chasing Cross.”

  Jess smiled. “Not the first time.”

  “Wait, what?”

  The security guard stopped and pointed to a door. “That’s Johnnie’s room.” He pointed to Jess. “You go in. And you...” He pointed to Marie. “You follow me. We’re going to a general area. You can watch the band leave to go to their bus.”

  “No,” Jess said. “Marie, that’s not safe.”

  “I get to meet Chasing Cross,” she said. “And you get... how do you know Johnnie?”

  “The café today,” Jess said. “When I got off the phone with you. He was behind me in line. I sat with him and we talked. I swear, I had no idea who he was.”

  “I hate you,” Marie said.

  She turned and looked at the security guard. “Do you have a name?”

  “Does that matter?” the guard asked, folding his arms.

  “Just trying to be friendly.”

  “I don’t do friendly.” His eyes moved to Jess. “Go inside and wait.” His eyes moved back to Marie. “You follow me.”

  With that said, everyone moved. Jess watched Marie start to walk away and she hated it. It didn’t seem right or fair, but Marie was happy enough just to be there, just to experience something she thought was amazing.

  The real amazing part was as Jess opened the door to Johnnie’s dressing room. She stepped inside and thought she could smell him. Subtle hints of their conversation at the café. She took small steps, too afraid to touch or do a thing. She finally settled on a small leather couch and did the only thing possible.

  She waited.

  The sound o
f the music came through the walls at a dull roar. The muffled version of the music was nothing compared to the live version, but even still, Jess found herself nodding her head, enjoying the music.

  When it came to a stop, she realized that was it.

  The last song.

  Johnnie screamed his thanks to the crowd and that was it.

  The crowd cheered and began to chant for the band.

  Chasing Cross... Chasing Cross... Chasing Cross... Chasing Cross...

  The chants continued with no signs of slowing down. Jess’s heart pounded in her chest, unsure what to expect next. She watched the door, waiting for Johnnie to open the door. But the crowd... the chants...

  Jess started to stand from the couch when she heard the crowd explode even louder.

  No way, she thought.

  She never heard such a loud response before. The sound was loud through the walls and hall so she could only imagine how it must have sounded out in the crowd. Right there in person.

  “Well then,” Johnnie’s voice cried out.

  Jess gasped.

  Chasing Cross wasn’t done.

  “You want more music?” he asked.

  Of course the crowd did. This was their time. Their moment too. It wasn’t about the money paid for the show. It was about the music and what it meant and what it did.

  “Okay!” Johnnie yelled. “Let’s do it...”

  The music started a couple seconds later, and lead into a four song encore that could have been its own show. The band was tight, fast, and sounded like they just took the stage. They sounded nothing like a band that had just played for almost two hours.

  It left Jess mesmerized.

  It also left her a little jealous.

  If Johnnie hadn’t been playing this encore part of the show, he’d be backstage with Jess. She would finally be able to put to rest the wild butterfly feeling in her stomach. She had no idea why Johnnie wanted her in his room.

  Maybe to thank her for coming to the show.

  Maybe to autograph her ticket.

  Maybe... more.

  When the music stopped for the second time, it was the final time. The band ended by playing the last chorus of the last song five times and sealed the show with one last note that rang against the cheers of the crowd.

  Feedback started to cut in and the plug was pulled.

  The show was over, at least for the people in the crowd.

  Jess put a hand to her chest, feeling her heart. Her body tensed and she focused on the door, hoping to keep her breathing calm.

  She told herself that maybe the show for her was just getting started.

  (9)

  Johnnie hurried into the back hallway and ran his hands through his hair. Peter met him with a fresh bottle of water and a pat on the back.

  “Hell of an encore there,” Peter said. He looked around and then pulled Johnnie close. “I loved the acoustic decision there. You had them eating out of your hand. That’s what acoustic does. It’s intimate. Perfect. Like I said...”

  “Enough,” Johnnie said and slipped away.

  “Hey! Johnnie!” Chris yelled.

  Johnnie stopped and turned. The rest of the band came down the hall, slow and confident. He could read their eyes, knowing they were ready for a water, a beer, and a shot.

  “What’s up?” Johnnie asked.

  “It’s the last show,” Chris said. “How about... we say something?”

  “That was a great show,” Rick said. “Johnnie, you were on fire. You were like part of the crowd, man.”

  “And the acoustic version of “Chasing”,” Danny said. “That was amazing.”

  “Really?” Johnnie asked. “I was hoping I didn’t piss you guys off with that.”

  “No way,” Chris said.

  “It’s cool,” Danny added. “Didn’t see it coming.”

  “But we pulled it off,” Rick said. “Just proves how good we still are.”

  Rick put a hand up and made a fist.

  Johnnie laughed as the rest of the band had that gleam in their eyes. Johnnie remembered that gleam and the first time he saw it after one of their first practices, after writing one of their earlier songs. They had pulled off the song without a single mistake and once the song ended, the phone rang with an offer for their first gig.

  Now it was years upon years later, millions of albums sold, millions of t-shirts and stickers sold, world tours, and all the allure that comes with being in such a band and they could still have those simple moments that boil down to the music.

  It’s always about the music.

  “How about we celebrate with a quick shot?” Davey asked. “I have a bottle of Jack on the bus, saved it for tonight.”

  “That’s a lot of whiskey for a short bus ride,” Danny said. “We’re, what, five miles from the hotel?”

  “Works for me,” Rick said. He put his arms around Davey and Danny’s necks.

  “Guys, listen,” Johnnie said, “I have something to take care of here...”

  “Take care of?” Chris asked. He looked beyond Johnnie and saw Peter aimlessly pacing wall to wall, glued to his cell phone as always.

  Around them a small crowd of roadies were already taking the equipment and stage setup apart, the behind the scenes crew that worked to the bone to make sure the look and feel was as good as the music, each and every night. Johnnie knew them all by name and made sure they were all taken care of. That was another purpose of having breaks in the tour. The guys were flown home to spend time with their families. A chance to unwind and relax before going back on the road. Most of the guys were meant to be on the road and simply went to another band but at least ten of the guys had wives, girlfriends, and kids at home.

  “Is it Peter?” Chris asked. “Something going on?”

  “No,” Johnnie said. “Not Peter. Why?”

  “You seem anxious,” Chris said. “You’re not talking contracts without the band, are you?”

  Johnnie felt his heart sink. He forced himself to smile. “Ball breakers.”

  “Who?” Rick asked. “Us?”

  “Yeah,” Johnnie said. “You want to know the truth?”

  “Spill your guts,” Davey said.

  “There’s a woman...”

  “No way,” Danny cut in. “You have a groupie waiting for you? I thought we were past that stage...”

  “Or at least if we were going to pick up some women, you should have told us,” Rick said. “There was a few in the crowd tonight...”

  “Guys, we’re not twenty anymore,” Johnnie said. “It’s not like that. There’s the woman I met today. She had no idea who I was.”

  “Oh no,” Chris said, “did the giant ego bubble bust?”

  The band laughed and Johnnie put his hands up.

  “It’s not that,” Johnnie said. “There was just something about her. She had tickets to the show from her friend and she had no clue who I was. She came to the show and I saw her... I have to talk to her...”

  “She’s in your room?” Rick asked.

  Johnnie nodded. He started taking steps back. “That was the best show of the tour. Keep that locked in your hearts, okay? We get a little break now, nobody get into trouble.”

  “You’re the only one who seems to be heading for trouble,” Danny called out.

  Johnnie turned and refused to believe this was going to be trouble. Meeting a woman was fine, natural even. It had been a long time for Johnnie and the whole rockstar image was kept alive because of his single status.

  Not that any of that left Johnnie, there was just something about Jess. He thought about Chris’s comment on his ego and he shook his head. It wasn’t the ego thing, at least completely. Sure, Johnnie had gotten used to everyone knowing him, bothering him, wanting him. So it was a little foreign to have a woman - especially one as beautiful as Jess - not have a clue who he was.

  The more he walked, the more Johnnie caught himself starting
to move faster. He never hurried for a woman, ever. There was no need to do so... if a woman couldn’t wait for him, there’d be ten more to take her place. But inside Johnnie, at that moment, he’d trade a hundred women just to have a chance to see Jess again.

  When he made it to the door he opened it in a hurry, expecting to see the room empty.

  But it wasn’t empty.

  There she was, standing there, playing with her hands, looking nervous.

  Their eyes met and Johnnie smiled.

  Jess smiled back at him, looking just as surprised as Johnnie was.

  “Hey,” Johnnie said.

  He was out of breath, not just from the show. Not just from the jog down the hall. It was mostly from staring at Jess. Gosh, she was beautiful.

  “Nice show,” Jess said.

  Johnnie went to take a step and realized something.

  He wasn’t heading for trouble... he was in trouble.

  (10)

  The door opened, Johnnie walked in, and Jess couldn’t move. She found herself just seconds earlier debating what to do. The show had ended what felt like an hour ago and outside the room she could hear people walking around.

  All she could think about then was Marie. Standing outside or near outside, waiting.

  But the second she saw Johnnie, everything inside her mind was blasted away. All she could focus on then was him. His sweaty hair. His sweaty body. The way his white t-shirt clung to him, revealing a set of amazing muscles that Jess hadn’t had the chance to see earlier in the café. His jeans and black shoes somehow completed the way he looked, making him hands down the sexiest man Jess ever saw in her life.

  When he spoke to her, Jess managed to say one thing.

  “Nice show.”

  Whether it was the right or wrong thing to say Jess didn’t know.

  But Johnnie smiled, so that had to mean something.

  “Yeah, that was a fun show. Changed things up a little in the middle.”

  “With “Chasing”?” Jess asked.

  “Yeah. I wrote that song on an acoustic guitar for myself a long time ago.”

  Jess stood, still trying to come to terms that she was alone with the lead singer of Chasing Cross. And now he was explaining where songs came from. This was a dream. No, it was beyond a dream. A fantasy.

  “That’s how I write all the songs, to be honest. I’ll just play and record demos. Just me and a guitar. I come up with some ideas and then pass them off. The band then takes my junk and turns it into treasure.”

  “That song, acoustic, wasn’t junk,” Jess said. “I... I sort of liked it better...”

  Johnnie smiled. “Yeah, you’re not the first person to say that tonight.”

  Johnnie’s smile went away as he turned to look at himself in a mirror that had four lights above it. He leaned against a small counter and sighed.

  “Thank you for doing this,” Jess said.

  “For what?” Johnnie asked.

  “Bringing me back here. And I’m sorry I didn’t know who you were.”

  “That’s fine,” Johnnie said. “Do you know who I am now?”

  “I know you’re the lead singer of Chasing Cross.”

  “Is that enough?”

  Jess found her fingers twitching even more. She couldn’t believe how nervous she was right now. In the café, it had been so easy to talk to Johnnie. Now, after knowing he was famous, it seemed different. But why?

  “No,” Jess said.

  “No?”

  “No. Just because you’re famous...”

  “So are you,” Johnnie said.

  He pushed from the counter and walked across the room. He reached for a bag and opened it. Jess couldn’t help herself as she watched. She caught sight of notebooks, loose papers, and guitar picks.

  “I keep as much as I can with me,” Johnnie said. “You never know when inspiration will attack.”

  He then pulled out a book and tossed it to Jess.

  She managed to catch the book. Her thumbs glided over the bubbled text on the cover as her cheeks started to turn red.

  “Now I’ll be honest,” Johnnie said. “I grabbed a copy of it today, after I left the café. You’re not an easy girl to find...”

  Jess’s fingers ran across her name on the book. Everything was written under the name Jessica CeeCee. Her debut novel, in the hands of Johnnie from Chasing Cross. She looked up from the book and felt the urge to cry.

  “I managed to get it,” Johnnie said with a smile. “Obviously.”

  “What do you think of it?” Jess asked.

  “I love it, so far. Halfway through it. I pissed off my manager because I ignored his calls while reading it in my hotel room. Sucked me right in. You’ve got talent.”

  Jess smiled and put the book on a table. It seemed so strange to see something she’d written in print like that. And the fact that Johnnie was able to walk into a bookstore and find it.

  “It’s a strange feeling, right?” Johnnie asked.

  “What is?” Jess asked. She hoped he wasn’t talking about the way Jess felt for Johnnie. Feelings were building and she was too afraid to explore them right then.

  “Seeing something you created become mainstream.”

  “That’s for sure.”

  “When we started playing together, it was just for fun. I mean, sure, we dreamed of hitching to California and following our heroes footsteps, but it was just about playing. Those early shows, ten people in a bar, three watching us, they were some of the best shows. Then you write music, record it, and people want it. They don’t just want to listen to the music either, they want to experience it. That’s where the passion is. Standing on stage, looking into the eyes of all those people. Each and every one of them, focused on you, their eyes begging for more, wanting more.”

  “Sounds amazing,” Jess said.

  “It is... but there’s something more amazing than that.”

  Jess was about to ask what? when Johnnie moved towards her. It was the first advance he’d made at her since coming into the room. Jess could have stepped back, or even stepped forward, but she remained in place.

  Johnnie got close to her, a foot away. She could smell him. The sweat. The hint of his cologne. Then there was his eyes. They were dark and beautiful, looking like they could hold pain and project love, all at the same time. A man who took no prisoner, who walked the path he believed in. It was almost overwhelming.

  Then Johnnie reached for Jess’s hand. His touch was gentle, and Jess shivered with excitement.

  “I looked out in that crowd tonight,” Johnnie said, his voice almost a whisper. “And I looked for you. I searched for you. Hoping you’d be there... and you were...”

  “My friend,” Jess started to say, but stopped.

  “I saw you standing there. Your face said it all. You really didn’t know who I was. It drove me wild. You’re so beautiful and I couldn’t help myself, Jess. That show, that was your show. Not mine. Not the bands. Not the crowd. Not even your friend. That was your show. My gift to you.”

  Jess swallowed. She had no idea how to respond to that.

  Johnnie wasn’t just commanding, he was serious.

  “I’m used to just having what I want, when I want it,” Johnnie said. “And that’s usually because of who I am. With you, I want what you want, when you want it.”

  “Johnnie... you’re a famous singer. I’m just an author.”

  “That has nothing to do with feelings, does it?”

  Jess shook her head. Of course it didn’t.

  “We have a charity show and then I have a few weeks off. That’s a few weeks to get to know you. To explore you, Jess.”

  “I can’t believe this,” Jess said.

  “Can’t believe what?”

  “You’re the lead singer of Chasing Cross...”

  Johnnie sighed and lowered his head. His grip squeezed on Jess’s wrist, for a second, and then releas
ed. When he looked at her again, his eyes seemed different. They looked more painful than caring. Jess had struck a nerve and she regretted it. She tried to reach for Johnnie but he walked back towards the mirror.

  “I didn’t mean it like that,” Jess said. “I promise.”

  “If I would have just given you my number,” Johnnie said. “And you didn’t come to the show... this would be normal. Wouldn’t it?”

  Johnnie looked in the mirror and Jess stared at his reflection, and her own.

  “What’s normal?” Jess asked. “You went and found my book today, didn’t you?”

  “But that doesn’t mean I’m acting different around you. I bought it because you said you were a writer.”

  “You had to find out my name though.”

  “So?”

  “You told me you played guitar and I saw your show,” Jess said. “So?”

  “You’re acting different. Because I’m from Chasing Cross.”

  “It’s not just that,” Jess said. Her mouth ran dry and she put a hand to her mouth. She swallowed and tried to find the rest of the words.

  How was it so easy to write a book about a story, people, and emotions but when it came to her own, Jess felt trapped? Putting her heart out there seemed to be the hardest thing to do.

  “Okay, then what is it?” Johnnie asked. “I thought I could come back here, talk to you, Jess, and be like we were this morning...”

  “Why me?” Jess asked. “That’s what it is. Why me? You’re the lead singer of a band. You can have any woman in the world, but you want me? Someone who doesn’t know you... someone who...”

  “That doesn’t matter!” Johnnie said as he turned around. “I don’t care what you know or don’t know. I care about the way you look at me. The way I look at you. That’s where it all starts. We can get to know each other over time, can’t we?”

  “You tell me,” Jess said.

  “I’m telling you,” Johnnie said.

  He moved at her again. He stood without touching her this time.

  “I’m sorry,” Jess whispered.

  “For what?”

  “I wasn’t sure what my purpose was back here tonight. I didn’t know if I was a... groupie... or the band...”

  Johnnie touched Jess’s face with his hand. His fingers caressed down her cheek. Their eyes locked and Johnnie smiled.

  “You can be anything you want,” Johnnie whispered. “All I know is that I met a woman today that made my heart jump a little. And then in a crowd of thousands, there she was again. I’m not afraid, Jess, and I won’t hold back.”

  “Don’t,” Jess said. “Please. Don’t...”

  Johnnie made his next move, bringing his lips down to her. They were a centimeter away. Jess’s lips started to quiver, waiting to feel Johnnie kiss her.

  “I’m not asking for your heart, or life,” Johnnie whispered. “I’m just asking for this moment, to share with me.”

  “I’m right here,” Jess said.

  Their lips finally touched. Johnnie’s hand held Jess’s cheek. His other hand touched the other side of her face as he kissed her again. And again. And again. His lips were soft but commanding, and each time Jess wanted the kiss to grow hotter, Johnnie resisted. It made Jess moan. She felt her cheeks burning, feeling embarrassed to have moaned like that. But then Johnnie groaned and opened his mouth. When his tongue touched Jess’s lips, her hands grabbed at the first thing they could reach.

  Johnnie’s pockets.

  All but her thumbs were in his pockets.

  She then pulled, unaware of her own deep seeded sensual desires and needs.

  Johnnie came forward, his body touching hers. That’s when his hands slowly made their descent from her face to her arms. He pulled at her as their tongues swirled around each other’s, wanting more.

  Finally, Johnnie broke the kiss by closing his mouth on Jess’s lips. He held for a few seconds, exhaling a warm breath through his nose. He pulled away with a quick wet pop sound.

  He licked his lips and swallowed.

  Jess did the same, tasting Johnnie. She wanted more.

  “That’s all I wanted to do tonight,” Johnnie said.

  “I thought rockstars were a little more wild than that,” Jess teased.

  Johnnie touched Jess’s face again. “Oh, sweetheart, if you want wild...”

  His hand slipped around to Jess’s backside and pulled at her. It forced Jess to jump up and Johnnie’s other hand left her face and gripped her backside too. He turned with Jess off her feet. She wrapped her legs around him and he walked her towards the counter.

  Jess was then sitting on the counter. Johnnie’s hands were flat and when she looked at them, she could tell he wanted nothing but to touch her. Their eyes met again and Johnnie came close to her. The tip of his nose touched hers and he smiled.

  “We have time to get wild,” he said. “Don’t we?”

  “I don’t know,” Jess said. “You’re the rockstar. The busy man. The one on tour.”

  “Like I said, we’re on a break.”

  “So I guess that means you have time.”

  “I guess so,” Johnnie said.

  A few seconds of silence came between them. Jess wanted Johnnie to kiss her again, but part of her didn’t want him to. She wanted to have that first kiss linger on her lips for as long as she could handle it.

  “Meet me tomorrow,” Johnnie said.

  “Meet you? Where?”

  “My hotel. Come to my room.”

  “Getting tired for tonight?” Jess asked with vixen desires burning in her eyes.

  Johnnie puckered his lips and exhaled. “Don’t tempt me...”

  “Why?”

  “I may have to take you away for the entire month I have off.”

  “I haven’t got any plans,” Jess said and smiled. Of course she had plans. Everyone had plans. This was just flirty talk... nothing more.

  Right?

  A knock came at the door and Johnnie closed his eyes.

  “Johnnie? It’s Peter. I need...”

  “Hold on,” Johnnie called out.

  Jess watched him move away and she jumped from the counter. Johnnie opened the door and Jess recognized the man from the café this morning. Sweating, holding his cell phone, looking disoriented but in control.

  “Oh, sorry,” Peter said when he saw Jess.

  “It’s fine,” Johnnie said. “Jess and I were just talking about our plans.”

  Jess smiled. Her body was on fire. She never wanted a man as bad as she wanted Johnnie. Normally, she would go on date after date, trying to find out everything she could about a man before even thinking about jumping into bed with him. But with Johnnie... was it so wrong to just want to tear his clothes off? To let him have her and then ask questions later.

  “Give me two minutes,” Johnnie said and closed the door on Peter. He turned back to Jess. “Business calls...”

  “I never thought I could imagine music and business together,” Jess said.

  “Just like books I bet. People see the art but not what’s behind the scenes.”

  Jess moved towards the door and stopped. “Listen, Johnnie. Thank you. For bringing me here... and...”

  “You said your friend is fan of the band?” Johnnie asked.

  “Big fan,” Jess hold. “She’s... sort of obsessed. But not in a creepy way. At least I don’t think so.”

  “Here, let me give you something.”

  Johnnie walked to his bag and Jess watched as he started scribbling on a piece of paper.

  “You said her name was... Mary?” he asked.

  “Marie.”

  Johnnie came back with the paper folded up and handed it to Jess. “There. Give that to Marie.”

  Jess looked at the paper then back at Johnnie.

  He moved down at her, kissing her one more time. A quick kiss, lips to lips, but enough that Jess knew it would be all she’d think
about. All she’d dream about.

  It’d be all she would want, again and again.

  She left the room and before she could take a step, a thought hit her.

  What about tomorrow?

  Johnnie wanted Jess to come to his room. Or maybe that was just talk. Silly rockstar talk.

  Either way, all Jess knew was that her heart wouldn’t calm down. Not tonight, and maybe, not ever.

  (11)

  “You really kissed Johnnie from Chasing Cross?”

  It was the fifth time Marie asked Jess about it. Jess hated herself for saying anything, but Marie wouldn’t let it go until she finally confessed something.

  They were at Jess's apartment, watching the early morning creep on. The last time Jess stayed up past one in the morning was when she had been working on her first book. Now she had herself on a rigid writing schedule, knowing that flying by the seat of her pants didn't work anymore. At least professionally. Romantically, who knew what worked?

  She licked her lips, pretending she could still taste Johnnie but he was long gone.

  Jess stared down into a steaming cup of tea, not wanting it. She wondered if Johnnie and the rest of the band were drinking. Or sleeping. Or with other women. In her mind, the rockstar life was nothing but shows and indulgence. But Johnnie didn't seem to fit that, at all.

  "So you two kissed and nothing else?"

  Jess smiled. She still hadn't given Marie the autograph Johnnie signed for her. She was saving that for the end of the night (or morning) because if she gave it to Marie before Marie was ready to leave, then she would never get rid of her.

  "Just kissed," Jess said. "He's a gentleman."

  "I don't believe it. He's a rockstar. They like music and sex."

  "We did not have sex," Jess said. Her body regretted that truth and it made her tingle, thinking of all the odd spots in the dressing room where she and Johnnie could have enjoyed themselves.

  "So... are you like dating him?"

  "I don't think so. He wanted to thank me for coming to the show."

  "And that's it?"

  "That's it."

  "Are you going to see him again?"

  Jess paused. Johnnie did say something about his hotel, but Jess didn't know a thing about it. And something told her that if she started calling the local hotels asking for Johnnie from Chasing Cross, she’d be laughed at and then hung up on.

  “I doubt I’ll see him again,” Jess said. “We just talked. He told me thanks for coming to the show. And I left.”

  “You kissed though,” Marie said.

  “Yeah, twice. First time was hotter.”

  Marie slapped her hand on the table, causing Jess to jump.

  “I’m so jealous,” she said.

  “You should be,” Jess said. “Then again, maybe I can help a little.”

  “Oh yeah, how?”

  “I wasn’t only thinking about myself when I was with Johnnie.”

  Marie’s eyes lit up.

  “I always keep my best friend in mind...”

  Jess stood from the table, taking her tea with her. She had no interest in it, preferring her pillow and bed. She found the folded piece of paper Johnnie gave to her and turned, showing it to Marie.

  “You have to promise me something,” Jess said.

  “Okay...”

  “When I give you this, you celebrate and go the hell home. Or crash on my couch. But quietly. I’m tired.”

  “Why, what are you giving me?” Marie asked.

  “You owe me big time for this.”

  Jess presented the paper to Marie, smiling almost ear to ear. She couldn’t help it though, she understood Marie’s love for Chasing Cross. And what a moment it would be to have Johnnie’s autograph. Whether it had actual value in the world or not, it at least meant something to Johnnie.

  Marie unfolded the paper and let out a girlish scream. She kicked her feet and held the paper to her chest.

  “You didn’t!”

  “Actually, I didn’t,” Jess said. “I mentioned you a couple times, but it was Johnnie who did that on his own. What does it say?”

  Marie looked at the paper. “He wrote my name... oh my, Jess. He wrote my name.”

  “Keep going,” Jess said.

  “It says... Marie - thanks for coming to the show. Keep Chasing us and we’ll keep playing! Love - Johnnie. It has love on it!”

  “He probably writes that on all his autographs,” Jess said. She hurried and closed her mouth, knowing just how she sounded.

  Marie looked at her with both eyebrows raised. “Jealous...?”

  “No, not at all. Stop it. Now you’ve got his autograph. Happy?”

  “Yeah. This is amazing.” Marie studied the paper and looked at Jess again. “I’m serious. This is... you know, when “Chasing” came out, it was right after my dad died.”

  “I remember, I’m sorry.”

  Marie stared off. “It was the hardest time of my life. Cancer took him in three months. And nothing made sense. No matter what anyone said to me. Or tried to do. You remember my Uncle Tom?”

  “Tom...”

  “Short, fat, a pig.”

  Jess smiled. She remembered Tom. She met him once and he tried to look down her shirt. Total creep.

  “He told me I shouldn’t worry because at the end of it all, I’d end up with all my father’s money. As if that mattered.”

  “He’s an ass,” Jess said. “Some people don’t get it.”

  “No, just listen. When Uncle Tom said that, everything came crashing down around me. I couldn’t believe someone would say such a thing. It was the exact kind of moment when I’d run to my father for advice... or a hug. So I got in my car and had no idea where to go. I turned on the radio and there it was... “Chasing”.”

  “Was that the first time you heard the song?”

  Marie nodded. “It just felt right. The words. The music. It was beautiful. And it got me through that time.”

  Marie swallowed and blinked, her eyes glossy.

  Jess had to take a deep breath. The power of music was intense, like nothing she could have ever believed. It made her think about Johnnie. Such a sexy man, with a heart that could create music and words that could help someone.

  That was true beauty.

  “I’m glad Johnnie wanted to talk to me then,” Jess said.

  Marie held the paper closer to her face. “Uh... Jess... I think he wants more than just talking...”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Here, I think this part is for you.”

  Marie ripped part of the paper, making sure she didn’t come close to Johnnie’s autograph. She handed it to Jess and sure enough, something else was written there.

  Johnnie’s handwriting, but much smaller.

  “I think he likes you,” Marie said. “Holy crap... Johnnie from Chasing Cross likes you!”

  Jess stared at the paper.

  A note from Johnnie.

  Remember what I said, tomorrow.

  And it included a phone number.

  Jess looked up from the paper, her eyes wide. Her mind raced almost as much as her heart did.

  Johnnie actually wanted her...

  (12)

  “This is to another decade of kicking ass and shredding stages!”

  Rick held a wobbly shot glass in the air. His head was back and his lips puckered, trying to be the twenty-one year old rock God bad-ass that he once was.

  Danny, Davey, and Chris all joined in.

  The shot glasses clanked together, letting the amber liquor spill a little from each one.

  “Come on Johnnie,” Chris said. “Don’t be an old man on us.”

  “Guys, I can’t go crazy,” he said. “I’m waiting for a call...”

  “A call? From who?” Chris asked.

  “Is it that woman?” Davey asked.

  Johnnie wouldn’t reply.

  “Oh man,” Danny sa
id. “Johnnie has fallen for a woman.”

  “Bound to happen,” Chris said.

  “You just met her,” Rick said.

  “She’s... special,” Johnnie said. “Leave it at that.”

  “Okay,” Rick said. “So let’s celebrate Johnnie’s new love flame. Now, put your cell phone in your pocket and have a freaking drink with us!”

  Johnnie smiled.

  What was one shot?

  Sure, ten years ago one shot meant two which meant ten, but this was different.

  Johnnie stood and poured himself a shot.

  The band stood with their arms in the air. It made Johnnie think of the night they signed their record deal. They stood, just like this, except they were holding warm cans of discount beer. They saluted each other, they drank beer, and they woke the next day dead set on a long career in music.

  “Say something,” Chris said.

  “Me?” Johnnie asked.

  “Yeah, come on.”

  “You guys and these speeches... fine. Here’s to tonight. To the music. To the wildness. To the purity. And here’s to a break to rest our minds and bodies... because when we start again, we’re going to blow the fucking stages to pieces!”

  Everyone laughed, cheered, and took their drink.

  Rick was the first to grab the bottle of whiskey for another. Johnnie gave him the eyes and Rick turned his attention to the rest of the band.

  It was going to be one of those nights.

  “Be safe,” Johnnie said. “I’m going to head to my room and relax.”

  “It’s not even three yet,” Chris said.

  Johnnie smiled. “It’s all good, man. You enjoy. But not too much.”

  Danny wrapped his arm around Johnnie’s neck. “Same to you, brother. Women can tear your heart to pieces.”

  “That’s only if you give it to them,” Rick chimed in.

  Danny touched Johnnie’s chest. “Ut-oh, this guy’s screwed.”

  Johnnie shook his way out of the room, closed the door and stood for a few seconds, listening as the rest of the band enjoyed the early morning hours. It was great to hear but Johnnie knew in the pit of his stomach that time marched on and that meant so did life. He didn’t want to live the same life over and over. He knew the rest of the band would feel the same way someday.

  When he walked into his room, the first thing he did was look at his acoustic guitar resting on the couch. He picked it up and wasted no time strumming some chords. Even after playing a show that night, it still made his body race. It made him think of Jess. She was the only thing besides music that made him feel the same way.

  He started playing “Chasing”, thinking about Jess’s face and eyes but quickly found himself strumming the chords for the new song that Peter wanted him to release on his own. He stopped for a second, feeling a sting of regret in heart. He looked at the door and then started to play it again.

  Nothing was signed, yet.

  The song could be on the next Chasing Cross album.

  Johnnie understood what Peter wanted for the band and Peter knew how Johnnie felt about playing acoustic. Like Johnnie told Jess, everything was written acoustic and then brought to the band to add their sound. A lot of the songs sounded great with just a guitar and Johnnie’s voice, but that would be cheating, wouldn’t it? People wanted Chasing Cross... not Johnnie from Chasing Cross.

  Feeling suddenly lonely and confused, Johnnie tossed the acoustic guitar to the other couch in the room. He moved from the couch to the window and gazed upon the sleeping city. Very few lights were on. Traffic mostly dead. The intersections he could see all had red lights, waiting for a car to come close enough to signal green.

  Johnnie looked at his cell phone and squeezed it.

  Why hadn’t she called yet?

  He hoped Jess just didn’t give the piece of paper to Marie and leave it at that. That’s when Johnnie realized how potentially stupid his move could have been. Imagine if Marie called him... or worse yet, what if Marie put his phone number online? Fans were often crazy, and some of them did just plain stupid things.

  Johnnie sighed, wishing he had done more in the backstage dressing room. He wished he had done more in the café too. But something about Jess seemed to keep him an inch away. Not out of fear, no way. He didn’t fear Jess... but maybe he did fear what she could do to him and what she could mean to him.

  After standing at the window for twenty minutes, Johnnie finally retreated back to the couch. He turned on the television knowing nothing would satisfy the feeling burning inside him. He put his head back for a second to try to clear his mind.

  The second suddenly became much longer and when he heard the ringing of his cell phone, it took him a few seconds to snap himself out of his unexpected sleep.

  Jess! Jess! Jess!

  His hand searched the couch, and then his pocket, before his eyes even opened. When they finally did, he looked around the room, realizing how bright it was. Before answering the phone, he looked at the clock and saw it was after nine in the morning.

  He jumped from the couch and answered the call almost out of breath.

  “Jess? What took you so long to call?”

  (13)

  Jess couldn’t believe she sat in the back of a cab on her way to The Richmond. It wasn’t the largest hotel in the city and it wasn’t the most luxurious, but maybe that was the best place to hide the guys from Chasing Cross. Of all things to think about, Jess wondered what they did with the tour bus and all the music equipment if the band stayed at the hotel. It seemed silly to think about, but it kept her mind from asking the million questions she had about Johnnie.

  The cab pulled up to the front of the hotel and the driver looked at Jess, nodding.

  “All set,” he said.

  “Do I owe...?”

  “All set, ma’am.”

  Jess climbed from the cab and looked around. The hotel seemed so quiet and calm. It didn’t seem possible that it could house the guys from Chasing Cross. She expected to see dozens of people outside, screaming and begging for Johnnie. Maybe that’s what they used the tour bus for. When it drives off, everyone thinks they’re gone.

  After walking through the lobby of the hotel, Jess called Johnnie again, waiting for the next move. He told her to go to the elevators and wait. That would be the hardest part of the morning. Watching the set of lights above her, counting down. The lights stopped at the tenth floor and then descended again. The minutes moved like hours and when two more people showed up, standing behind Jess, she wondered what would happen when the elevator doors opened.

  They finally did and the elevator was empty.

  What...

  That’s when Jess noticed the book in the middle of the elevator. It was the copy of her book, the one that Johnnie had the night before at his show. She had no choice but to step into the elevator. She picked up the book and held it, smiling.

  “Excuse me?”

  Jess looked up. A woman smiled at her, pointing to the elevator panel.

  “What floor?”

  “I... I’m not sure,” Jess said. “Let me... check...”

  The woman raised an eyebrow and turned around. The doors shut and Jess opened the book. She found one of the pages folded and assumed it was where Johnnie had left off. Page twenty-three was the folded page and on top of that, it was circled in pen a few times.

  Jess thought about it and swore that the night before Johnnie mentioned he was further into the book than just twenty-three pages. Unless he was lying. Maybe he read slow. Maybe he didn’t read at all.

  Maybe his floor was twenty-three.

  Jess gasped and smiled. She reached forward and touched the number twenty-three.

  When the elevator reached the twenty-third floor, she was the only one left to get off. She looked up and down the hall. There were plenty of doors to choose from.

  How would she find Johnnie’s room?

&nbs
p; Jess fingered along the pages of her book, feeling the paper rub against her thumb. She thought about calling Johnnie again. They were far enough away from people, right? It didn’t matter now.

  Unless Johnnie liked this little game.

  Jess checked the book again and sure enough, another page was folded.

  Page three-seventeen.

  Jess eyed the doors in front of her and saw how they ascended to her right. She turned and started to move fast, almost jogging down the hall. She had to make another right and continued all the way down to the end of the hall.

  And there it was.

  The last door on the right.

  317.

  She put her hand up, ready to knock, when the door opened.

  “Johnnie,” she whispered.

  He stood as surprised as Jess. As a smile climbed across his face, Jess took note of his dimples and then his eyes. They were beautiful and protective. Jess felt comfortable, trying to look beyond the celebrity of Johnnie to see the real man that now extended his hand towards her.

  When he touched her wrist, she thought of Marie. She thought of Marie’s story and how important Johnnie’s music was to her. How it helped her. How she found peace through suffering, all because of music. Music that Johnnie created. And that same man now wanted Jess.

  She moved into the hotel room, just staring at him.

  “Are you okay?” Johnnie asked. “Hope I didn’t throw you off too much with the book. It’s hard for me to just go out, you know?”

  “I understand,” Jess said.

  “We normally take the bus to the next show or just crash at a hotel. Since we’re on a break, the guys are going to hang out here and enjoy the city until our charity show. The bus and equipment are all gone now. The charity show is going to be laid back.”

  Jess nodded. “What do you do all day then? Just sit in the room?”

  “The guys are sleeping, I’m sure. They were celebrating the end of the tour.”

  “What about you?”

  Johnnie touched Jess’s cheek with his thumb. He moved to her lips and smiled. “I’ll start celebrating right now.”

  Jess kept her eyes open as Johnnie kissed her. Her lips were parted and she let out a soft moan, unable to control herself. She kissed back as Johnnie had both hands to her face. Jess felt the temptation to touch Johnnie, just like she did last night. Now they were in a hotel, nothing could stop them. There was a bed. Jess was certain it had to be a big bed. She wanted to find out.

  When Johnnie moved back from the kiss, Jess licked her lips.

  “I’ve been thinking about that all night,” Johnnie said.

  “Me too.”

  Jess moved towards Johnnie again but as he stood taller than her, she couldn’t reach his lips. She nuzzled her nose to his neck and felt him take a long breath.

  “Jess, wait a second.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  Johnnie put his hands to her hips and forced her to take a couple steps back. He looked at her with the slight hesitation and regret of what he was about to say.

  “I don’t want to just... have you once,” Johnnie said. “I know that’s the image we have. But that’s not what I want.”

  “I understand,” Jess said.

  “You’re not here for a hookup, Jess. You’re here for a purpose.”

  “What’s that?”

  “You’re an artist, like me. I’m in the middle of a decision, about a song. I need someone to talk to about it.”

  “I don’t know the first thing about music.”

  “Maybe that’s just what I need.”

  Johnnie walked away from Jess towards the large window at the end of the hotel room. He stood and slipped his hands into his pockets. When he turned his head, Jess froze and stared at the side view of Johnnie’s face. His features were perfect but what caught Jess the most was his eyes. She could see the power and the magic in them. He looked out to a city but Jess was certain he saw more than a city. He saw stories, beauty, something to write about. Something to create.

  Jess moved across the room, looking around the place. She saw a guitar on the couch, notebooks on the table, but what she didn’t see was bottles of booze or drugs. That prompted her to look at Johnnie again, wondering just what kind of man he was. Someone who obviously loved the music and loved the shows.

  “What’s it like?” Jess asked, still inching he ways towards the gorgeous rockstar.

  “What’s what like?” Johnnie asked.

  “Writing music? Playing shows?”

  Johnnie smiled. He looked out the window, leaving Jess barely able to see the faint reflection of his face against the glass.

  “It’s life,” Johnnie said. “It’s everything I see and feel coming to life. To express what I feel, what I hear, what I say. Some people hear the faster songs and think they’re written for the purpose of being fast. Loud music and all that. But there’s more to it. The lyrics tell a story and so does the music. That’s why I always bring the songs to the band.”

  Jess wondered why Johnnie always mentioned the band. He did so as though he regretted what he said. As though he kept trying to remind himself he had a band.

  “As far as the shows go... it’s not about me and it’s not about the band. It’s about the people. The fans. They show up, so we play. They’re the ones that control it, not me.” Johnnie looked over his shoulder and added, “Then again, if nobody showed up, I’d still play. Because I have to. It’s my release and my offering to the world.”

  The words were beautiful and they all made sense to Jess. For the people who asked her why she wrote books, this was why. It was her release. Her way of speaking to the world. Her way of offering something.

  Jess moved faster now and when she was within reach of Johnnie, she slipped her arms around his waist. She chased away the thoughts of Johnnie being a rockstar and she chased away the thoughts that she wasn’t good enough for him.

  They could use each other.

  Jess rested the side of her face on Johnnie’s back and interlocked her fingers around him. She felt the muscles in his shirt and felt the waves of warmth rush through her body. All her senses were activated and she resisted her urges to see if she could get Johnnie to take her to the bedroom.

  “Thank you for being here,” Johnnie said. “I was worried you weren’t going to find my number on the autograph.”

  “That was kind of risky,” Jess said. “I’m surprised Marie didn’t call you.”

  “I thought about it. Well worth the risk.”

  “If you say so.”

  Silence came for a few seconds. Then Johnnie asked, “What are you working on this week?”

  “I’m a writer, so, a book.”

  “Is it important?”

  “I hope so,” Jess said.

  “I mean, do you have to be here to write it?”

  “No. I can do whatever I want. I’m waiting for a phone call though...”

  A knock at the door ended their alone time.

  Johnnie spun around, but kept Jess’s hands around him. He hugged her and looked down at her.

  “Am I interrupting something?” Jess asked.

  “No. Just music stuff. I have a phone interview with a magazine. Stay with me.”

  Jess shook her head. “No. That’s kind of important...”

  “Don’t worry about it.”

  Johnnie broke his hold and rushed to the door. He opened it and ushered Peter in, who held his cell phone to his ear. He took it away for a second and waved it at Johnnie.

  “Hey, Timmy, listen, I’ve got Johnnie right here with me now,” Peter yelled into the phone.

  Peter looked at Jess and smiled. Johnnie put a hand up. He mouthed, It’s okay, and then took a seat on the couch. Peter followed suit and placed the phone on the table, putting it on speakerphone.

  “You’re on, Timmy,” Peter yelled.

  “Okay,” a voice cam
e through. “Johnnie, are you there, man?”

  “I’m here. How’s it hanging?”

  “Amazing. Thanks so much for the interview.”

  “Anytime.”

  Peter gave Johnnie a thumbs up.

  Jess leaned against the window and watched Johnnie.

  “Okay, let’s start simple. Tell me about the tour. What’s it like? Why the break?”

  “The tour is amazing,” Johnnie said. “Chasing Cross has the best fans in the world. It never fails to amaze me how they show up, sing every song, and even when we throw a twist into the show, they love it. We take breaks so our band and crew can spend time with their families. Face it, we’re not getting any younger, right?” Johnnie laughed. “And being on the road year after year teaches you so much about life. So many of our guys have wives and kids... and seeing them all growing up, it’s just something special to see. Plus, everyone knows how much bigger and better the tours get as we take our breaks.”

  Peter tapped on Johnnie’s leg. He mouthed to him, Charity!, and Johnnie nodded.

  “We also have a big charity show coming up, so it’s not that long of a break.”

  “Tell me about this twist in your show?” Timmy asked.

  “We decided to play an acoustic version of “Chasing” last night. I grabbed a guitar and the band just came together and pulled it off. I don’t think we’ve ever played it like that before, at least live. It was amazing. We are surrounded by the best band members in the world with the best fans in the world cheering us on...”

  Jess saw glimpses of herself in Johnnie, wondering if her life would be like that soon enough. Her publisher was due to call her any day now. Hopefully with big news. Not just a big advance but maybe a big push. A chance to do book signings, meet readers, and have that moment in the light.

  Johnnie was smooth and calm during the interview, answering with honesty and never forgetting the band. Peter steered the interview when needed and Jess watched as Peter and Johnnie were able to speak to each other through mouthed words and different stares.

  “Johnnie, thanks for the time,” Timmy said. “Now, on your break, will you write?”

  “Of course I will,” Johnnie said. “I’m a musician. I play, I write. All the time.”

  “What do you do with it? The new material.”

  “Take it to the band,” Johnnie said. “Probably after the tour. That’s when we usually decide on our next album.”

  “Why not release it on your own?”

  Johnnie looked at Peter and his lip started to curl. “Why would I do that?”

  “If you wrote it,” Timmy said. “If you have that much ready to go...”

  “Interview’s over,” Johnnie said.

  He stood up and moved from the table, pointing to the phone, shaking his head.

  “Wait, wait,” Peter said. “Timmy...”

  “It’s an honest question,” Timmy said. “Johnnie’s the front man. The man everyone wants. His solo album...”

  “I said the interview is over!” Johnnie boomed.

  He hurried and grabbed the phone, terminating the call. He tossed the phone at Peter, then kicked the table.

  “What the hell was that about?” he yelled.

  “Calm down,” Peter said. “You know these guys. They try to pinch your nerves.”

  “Pinch my nerves? Give me a break, Peter. Asking me about a solo project?”

  “I can’t help what they ask,” Peter said. “I swear, I had no idea he was going to throw that in there. He was going to end with asking about the next album and when the tour picks up again.”

  “Doesn’t matter now, does it?” Johnnie asked. “You better fix this, Peter. If he prints anything about a solo project...”

  “He won’t,” Peter said. “I know Timmy. He asks questions but he’s not a complete ass.”

  “Just fix it.”

  Peter stood and started scrolling through his phone. He walked to the door and paused. “Johnnie... I need you to relax for a little bit, okay? I’m trying to work on a new deal with the label. The last thing we need is to add to everything going on.”

  “Everything going on?” Johnnie asked.

  “Rick drinking. Television broken. Loud parties.”

  “Don’t give me that,” Johnnie said. “The label’s going to drop us because we’re loud?”

  “I’m not saying that,” Peter said. “What I am saying is that they’re looking for a mature, stable band. It’s not like it was ten years ago. You and I both know that.”

  “Go call Timmy,” Johnnie said. “Fix that mess.”

  “Keep yours under control,” Peter said.

  He left the room and Johnnie kicked the table again. He started to pace a few steps and then let out a growl. Jess watched as Johnnie flipped the table, sending his notebooks scattering. The table hit the couch and rolled the guitar to it.

  Jess stepped forward but stopped. What could she say? What could she do?

  Johnnie finally turned, shaking his head.

  “I’m sorry about that,” he whispered. “It’s just...”

  “It’s okay,” Jess said. “Managers, right?”

  Johnnie smiled. “Just looking at you makes me calm down.”

  “Good. Keep looking at me.”

  “Peter isn’t a bad guy.”

  “I never said he was.”

  “He means well,” Johnnie said. “But he’s insistent that we change. He’s so worried about the label...”

  “It’s okay,” Jess said.

  “No, it’s not. Not when magazines are asking questions about me like that.”

  Johnnie sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He moved towards Jess with speed, causing her to step back uneasily.

  “I have an idea,” he said.

  “An idea?”

  “Yeah. This place is crammed. I can’t go away. I can’t do anything. Peter is hounding me about... this side project thing.”

  Jess saw how Johnnie swallowed with regret.

  “I don’t want anymore interviews, anymore questions. And whatever the band is doing, that’s their life, not mine.”

  “I agree,” Jess said.

  “Let’s get out of here.”

  “Okay. Where do you want to go? Won’t people recognize you?”

  “Here, yes. But not where I want to go.”

  “Which is...?”

  “I’ll take you home so you can pack. Bring your laptop too. We’re going to the mountains.”

  “The mountains?”

  Johnnie nodded with his eyes wide. “I have a place in the mountains. Secluded and quiet. We could be there in time for dinner.”

  “You’re kidding me.”

  “Not at all. Just me, you, and the mountains.”

  Johnnie slid his hands into Jess’s and lowered his head.

  “Come with me, Jess. We can get to know each other. Escape the world for a little bit. Nobody can bother us. Plus, I have to come back for the charity show. Just for a few days.”

  “You have everything we need?” Jess asked.

  “Sure. The only thing I need is you. Come with me.”

  “I noticed you didn’t ask me,” Jess said. “You keep telling me.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Do I have a choice?”

  “Do you want a choice?”

  Jess smiled. “I think I made my choice... last night...”

  Johnnie brought his lips to Jess’s. They touched but he didn’t kiss her. Instead, he said, “Me too...”

  (14)

  It felt like a secret operation as Jess ran behind Johnnie down the hall, holding his hand. It was fun, innocent, and by the time they boarded the elevators, they were both laughing. Jess worried that the elevator wouldn’t make it to the ground floor without someone trying to board the elevator.

  She was right.

  They made it to the fourth floor when the elevator stopped.
>
  Jess gripped his hand tight, wondering what would happen if someone recognized Johnnie.

  The doors opened and a man in a suit stepped in. He turned, looked at the ground floor button, and did nothing.

  The ride continued and two seconds into moving again, the man turned and looked at Johnnie.

  “Hey, are you...”

  “Nope,” Johnnie said and pressed the button for the third floor.

  The elevator stopped in time and he rushed from it, Jess alongside him.

  “What are we doing here?” Jess asked.

  “We’ll take the stairs now,” Johnnie said.

  At the ground floor, Jess started to move towards the lobby.

  “No,” Johnnie said. “We’ll take the backdoor. There’s a car waiting for us.”

  “A car?”

  Johnnie paused and smiled at Jess. “I’m a rockstar. I get what I want, when I want it.”

  The words made Jess’s body flare with heat.

  Outside the backdoor of The Richmond, a black car waited. It wasn’t a limo but Jess assumed that was done on purpose. A simple black car wouldn’t attract as much attention.

  Johnnie opened the back door for Jess and within minutes, they were driving towards Jess’s apartment. Once settled, she had time to think.

  Her first thought?

  This is crazy...

  Yeah, it was crazy. But when Jess turned her head and looked at Johnnie, it didn’t feel so crazy. He was a man in need of a getaway. A chance to relax and let the world roll off his shoulders. Jess felt the same way. For days she had been forcing herself to slave over her keyboard, desperate to churn out another book fast enough to keep her publisher happy. They didn’t ask for the book but Jess put the pressure on herself to deliver.

  Did that even matter?

  Her dream had always been to have the freedom to write. That freedom landed in her lap a while ago and nothing had changed. She did nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing wild. Nothing fun.

  Until now.

  When the vehicle stopped at her apartment, she hesitated to get out of the car.

  “What’s wrong?” Johnnie asked.

  “This is...”

  “What we need,” he said. He leaned towards her, taking her hand. “Jess, I’m not forcing you to do a thing. I’m offering you something.”

  “How long will you wait?” Jess asked.

  “As long as I have to.”

  “What if I go inside and never come out?”

  Johnnie smiled. “Then I’d have to come find you. To check on you. To beg you to come with me.”

  Jess opened the door and slid out of the car. As she looked at Johnnie one last time, she smiled back. “No need to beg.”

  Through her apartment, Jess was like a storm. She did her best to keep her room from looking like a total disaster but time was wasting away. In nothing short of a miracle, she managed to pack a couple days worth of clothing in just one bag. A big bag, but just one. She put it on her shoulder and tried to move, dragging the bag from her bed. It fell to the floor, taking her shoulder with it. After crying out, Jess then grabbed the bag with two hands and dragged it across the floor. At the door, she made sure everything was locked and she scanned her apartment one last time.

  Crazy.

  The thought kept coming to her. The constant need to remind herself how crazy this was. But it didn’t matter. She could work from anywhere in the world. She could stay in contact with her agent and Marie, or anyone else she needed to.

  This was the true freedom of her career, finally able to indulge in it.

  More so, it wasn’t so bad to have someone as sexy as Johnnie to lead the way.

  When Jess kicked open the door to the apartment building, dragging her bag, she stopped and waited for Johnnie. He stepped from the car and put on a pair of sunglasses.

  “What the hell is in this?” he asked, lifting the bag off the ground.

  “Some clothes,” Jess said.

  “I thought you needed a laptop,” Johnnie said.

  “What would I wear? The same clothes day after day?”

  “Actually... I was hoping you’d just be naked.”

  Johnnie turned, just in time, so that Jess could spare herself the embarrassment as her cheeks flushed a deep red. She never had someone be so blunt, honest, and sexy with her. Not to mention she was pretty sure Johnnie wasn’t lying.

  They were back in the car and driving. This time, Johnnie slid close to Jess and wrapped his arm around her. Jess leaned into him, inhaling him. She didn’t care if it was obvious. Her head rested against his hard chest and she felt his strong fingers spread across her shoulder.

  Everything felt right and comfortable.

  “Tell me about your next book,” Johnnie said.

  “It’s nothing special. Guy and girl fall in love.”

  “I don’t mind that story.”

  “Yeah, but I’m thinking someone should try to kill one of them. Or both.”

  “Ouch.”

  “But it brings them closer.”

  “I hope nobody tries to kill us,” Johnnie said.

  “Well, at least we’ll be hidden in the mountains, right?”

  “Thank you for coming with me.”

  Jess smiled and her eyes grew heavy. When Johnnie started to rub her shoulder, she quickly fell asleep.